Willpower - does it exist and where to find it?
The usual situation, imagine: Friday, you are having a date or a party. You go to the side of the house, perhaps swallowing your own tears, feel sorry for yourself and at some point with apparent absolute certainty you understand that you deserve a piece of cake for the next issue of "Voice". Another situation. Tuesday. Meeting with girlfriend. You are enthusiastically telling her that you finally started to go to the sport and eat fruit before noon. A friend orders a glass of wine, and all your thoughts in a second are switched from milky oolong to the wine list. Well, for a complete set: a winter morning, and, it would seem, there is time to go to the sport (last night you wanted to, pouring the accounts of the pumped-up girls in the instagram).
But “I’ll stay a little longer” and “I’ll go and make some coffee for myself” win, and you mentally endure the idea the next day. What are all these scenarios about? About impulses that we often take for true desire and indulge them. Or making the wrong decision
It was studied and proved that the behavior based on impulses was inherited from our cave ancestors. Therefore, remember them every time, breaking into a regular bar before an early departure or an important meeting. Or grabbing some expensive thing in the store and thinking that meeting her is a sign from above. In fact, this is an unnecessary, unreasonable waste, which you will call a “spontaneous purchase.” This is all very peculiar to girls, of course. Surely you tell yourself from time to time or hear stories about some situations and “and then everything is in a daze”. So, this fog is the lack of control over your emotions and, accordingly, actions, and its a sin not to love.
It is important to remember: you can control absolutely everything. And the consumption of sugar, and alcohol, and waste, and even the reluctance to engage in sports. You can, of course, continue to boast that here is such a windy, weak-willed character. But the fact remains: self-control, like impulses, is perfectly controlled by the brain. What to do next? Forgive and let go, as they say. To stand on the side of one thing still will not work - it's the same as fighting with reason and feelings.But to know about this information is still worth it.
Willpower can be trained
It is believed that willpower has a daily supply. Simply put, almost all decisions during the day we take by means of willpower, and at some point it ends. Come home, fall on the sofa and pour yourself a glass of wine - this means that you are tired of making decisions and can no longer control yourself.
What to do, so that it is wiser to use and spend this important function? First, do not waste your efforts on bullshit. Put banal actions into automatic mode. If you have extremely hard, responsible work, then absolutely exactly decisions like “what to wear” or “what to eat” should be brought to automaticity. Another good way to relieve pressure in decision making is to eliminate from the field of view all hazards. Stop smoking? Do not keep cigarettes at home. Are you worried about parting? Keep away all things reminiscent of a partner. No temptations and unnecessary waste of energy!
In journal articles we very often come across motivational tips in the spirit of “reward yourself with chocolate after a good workout”.Really? Very dubious logic. You want to lose weight - so take all measures for this. And sport is among them. Therefore, pampering yourself for dubious merit, especially at first, is strange. Without chocolate, you will quickly achieve the desired results, and the resolution of something to eat there can cause dubious feelings after. For example, guilt. The problem is that we love to hang tags on certain actions. And having done something negative (unloved), we immediately want to balance the state with something pleasant (beloved). Maybe it is worth a little more mature to relate to the goals that you set for yourself, and not to paint them into "good" and "bad" actions? A neutral attitude towards them will allow you to achieve without emotions what you have been dreaming about for a long time.
Live till monday
Will power is also related to sacred dates, which we very much like to designate as a starting point. “I’ll stop eating chocolate on Monday,” you think. But on Monday you will think so many times (to eat or not to eat) that by the evening, of course, eat your rightful portion. Here it is worth remembering that on Monday and even the first of January, we will remain by ourselves.With our habits and emotions. What then is real? Try changing behavior and making it more permanent. For example, promise yourself to smoke two cigarettes a day and drink one cup of coffee instead of four. And in this mode, watch for yourself: you definitely do not smoke and do not drink more. And after a couple of weeks, limit yourself to just one serving, gradually coming to zero. Fixing on the present (and not on the new week), we feel ourselves in reality, we see concrete results, and we are not so scared.
Change your environment
In any change, support is important to us. It is for this reason that psychological therapeutic groups are considered particularly effective, where everyone supports each other and together achieve results faster. We, people, mirror this or that behavior with incredible speed and unconsciousness. Of course, it is unlikely that you will be able to completely change the environment, but when you are facing specific goals, it is not shameful to look for like-minded people for yourself. Or at least not to go shopping with a friend-squander, if you set a goal to save this month.
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