Days N Daze - Self Destruction Anthem
Why Do I Do This To Myself?
Have you ever obsessed over something so badly that you built it up to enormous, ridiculous proportions and then when it finally happens, it turns out to be not nearly the nightmare you were projecting after all? I am literally light-headed with relief right now and it's all my own fault for making this such a big deal.
I had to have a conversation with Peter that I was absolutely dreading. I mean knot-in-my-stomach, knees-shakingdreadingabout something that has serious financial repercussions. It's not something that I had any control over, either, so it's not like it's my fault, but still - it's big and it was certainly going to make him furious and I just didn't want to have to deal with it. Or him. Mostly him.
I saw him today, and in as neutral a tone as possible, I explained the situation as I knew it. He, in turn, listened, offered his insights, and we both agreed we needed to study the situation more and that we can figure out how to deal with this. No yelling. No freaking out.
I mean, quite literally,WHEW.
I wasn't expecting that. I guess I need to give Peter a little more credit for reason than I thought. Of course, the situation isn't resolved entirely, yet - I'm not counting on his new, cooler head prevailing. We'll just have to see how it all turns out.
In the meantime, I wish I didn't have to work today so I could drive home and pour myself a drink. I feel fifty pounds lighter just from the boulder falling out of the pit of my stomach.
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