How to understand that the relationship is time to end
“But he loves me”
The women of my family often gave me the same advice: “It doesn’t matter what kind of man, what he is and what your relationship is with you. The main thing that he loved you. A destructive consumer attitude, insisting that a man should love more, has penetrated the minds of women of several generations. And she mutated on an unheard of scale. Remember yourself: he is economic, he is promising, he earns well and loves children. But to love a man, in general, not necessarily. But it is necessary to recognize that neither financial prosperity, nor children, nor golden hands and the wonderful human qualities of men will save a couple when there is no love. Prospects in general may be too far away to waste their lives trying to reconcile and get used to a promising, but unloved man.
“I'm just very tired”
When both of you are happy in a relationship, no matter how difficult times may be, you never get tired. Fatigue at workbecause of the hassle of the house or communicating with children, we often explain the reluctance to have sex. Although in reality the reluctance of intimacy - fatigue from a particular man. Apathy and fatigue make a woman irritable, any touch can cause sharp hostility and alienation. The lack of energy in a healthy relationship forces us to sit separately, sleep on our side of the bed, and avoid kissing. Think about how long you hugged? Have you ever wondered when and why you stopped doing this? Hugs are an indicator of strong healthy relationships. Of course, work, children and anything else - all this leaves its imprint. But really, at the end of the day, are you so exhausted that you don’t even want to seek comfort and rest on the wide chest of your protector?
"This is a partnership"
Very often I meet with the statement that partnership, marriage and relationships of calculation are the key to a happy family life. Like, love comes and goes, but a close, close soul mate, friend and partner always remains. Of course, if your boyfriend and husband are also a reliable companion, then that's fine! But if partnership is the only reason to be together, is it worth continuing such a relationship? Friendship has never been a worthy occasion for a wedding or a family.And even more so a joint business or a profitable mortgage loan will not save a relationship in which there is no more love.
“It won't be better”
Better or worse, more or less - all these concepts in relations exist insofar as. I would call the only important evaluation criterion one thing: “I am happy with it” or “I am unhappy with it”. There is no third. Even when it's hard for you, when you are offended or in a quarrel, you feel love through negative emotions. And if not, then self-suggestion begins: “everything is not bad,” “he is good,” and then “everything is fine”. All these attempts to reconcile with the situation, to take oneself in hand are classified as "I'm not happy with him". Otherwise it can not be.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself the question: are you really happy? Without any "but." To make sure that it is better, perhaps, it is enough to remember how your relationship began.
After all, everything was somehow different, right? And now you are looking for clothes with exciting excitement and doing make-up when you are going to meet a man? Do you like waking up together? Or has it become anymore? Indifference is deceptive. It seems that this is not an annoyance, but it is somehow not very similar to love.
"I'm not at that age anymore"
"You are no longer 17 (25, 30, 45 ...) years old to be scattered by peasants."Believe me, someone will always say that you either lived too little or have already missed the moment. In my opinion, now it's just as impossible to catch everything as soon as to please everyone. Judge for yourself: it is too early to give birth at age 20, and at 35 it is too late. Get higher education after 30 - what a horror, crazy! But immediately after school - early, think it over carefully, do not rush. In Europe, it is indecent to even ask about your personal life, but in Russia everyone is trying to give advice. One uninvited benefactor somehow morally remarked: “When you are 20 and even 25 years old, you can wait for the prince on a white horse and meticulously turn your nose. But after 30 it is not necessary to choose. Take what you give, and then you get used to it. ” But is it possible to get used to life with an unloved man?
If the friends sympathetically console, and the parents openly demand grandchildren - think about it. You should not feel obliged to them or even more guilty. Taking the lead of a dubious majority with their stereotypes, you risk spending your whole life with an unloved person, only to get married in time and have a baby
“When passion passes away, it’s not a reason to leave.”
At the initial stage of the relationship, we all have the euphoria of falling in love. We are happy and happy to get to know a person closer, enjoying each other’s company and new emotions, which, it would seem, will have no end. But over time, the passions pass, and with it the love euphoria. And this is normal. In any relationship there are ups and downs. But if all other emotions and feelings pass along with ardent passion, enthusiasm and euphoria, then this is a reason to think. If the usual views of your favorite movies and other things that were interesting to both of you before and the activities ceased to be enjoyable and even became a burden, then the problem is not the euphoria left. With love, elementary joy, a feeling of calmness and security, interest in the beloved and his life, enthusiasm to take on something new and overcome difficulties go away. Sense to maintain such a relationship?
"This is all autumn blues"
A few years ago I had a particularly difficult period at work. I lingered, I was busy with my work off, I was tense, tired and exhausted. The man did not understand how to help me, and from this he was irritated.The situation improved with time, but during the next quarrel, he liked to point out: "I am not going to endure your tantrums every winter." But the time of year was completely irrelevant. What we consider the autumn blues or winter depression, in fact, only the absence of love. It is not necessary to transfer responsibility to the seasons, because of which you find it difficult, sad and joyless. The seasons succeed each other, and fatigue, disappointment and incomprehensible longing in a relationship remain.
It's always scary to leave. Imaginary stability is better than suspense and loneliness
And what if it's impossible to meet someone else? Suddenly, this man is the very love and more is not given? Of course, you can always reassure yourself by self-deception, that you will think about parting in a more appropriate and meaningful period, to console yourself with the fact that with the advent of the child the family will have a new meaning. And, to admit, some really live like this all their lives. Normal, average statistical "normal" life.
Emmy 2016: which winners we are especially happy for
Ksenia Sobchak sat on the twine
50 shades of red and other makeup trends of autumn 2018
Decoupage napkin box
Furniture made in Russia
How to wear fashionable knitted suits
10 of the coolest movies about robots
Top 10 women who have changed the history of mankind