8 modern fears - how to get rid of them
Today, the usual phobias go into the background. Now people are attacking modern fears. They appeared quite recently and are more often found among those who live in megacities.
Woman’s Day learned from Chelyabinsk about eight popular fears of a modern person, and psychologist Anastasia Gorshenina told about what modern phobias can be caused and how to cope with them.
Fear, embarrassment, upload photos to social networks, write posts, be afraid to post likes or that there will be few of them under your post.
“I’m afraid I’m afraid to post something on social networks, although I’m not a shy person by nature. I'm afraid to stupidly afraid that people will think that I have an uninteresting life, including my former classmates. In high school she did not know how to communicate from the word "at all." And it is precisely the poor evaluation of these people that I fear in the first place.And in general, I don’t want the records to collect few likes - the feeling that they “underestimated a great thought” ... brrr. It is easier for me from the thought that next to me are people who love me and to whom I can prove nothing. And I can post my notes for their attention, for example, in personal messages - close ones will check out for sure. ”
What fear: fear of rejection. Fear of "I will not be loved by people and society." Fear is based on the thoughts that others will negatively assess - they will not understand, they will laugh, they will condemn, they will criticize.
Root causes:such fear can be tied to the culture of society, because in any era, whatever one may say, in order to be accepted, it is “necessary” to conform to the culture, fashion, given rules and frameworks. It is scary to be yourself, it is scary to stand out so as not to get the label of the “white crow” or “strange man”. Individualization is not always supported in society. Such fears are more susceptible to residents of large cities.
This is due to the fact that in modern society it is customary to communicate via the Internet and social networks, and therefore the assessment of the quality of life also passes through them.I posted a “happy” or “sports” photo, got a like, which means it’s accepted in society.
How to overcome:increase self-esteem and confidence. Strengthen in their own uniqueness, enhance the intrinsic value, strength and dignity. Change your worldview from the template to the individual. To visit a psychologist, to undergo psychotherapy.
Fear of being left without a phone, forgetting it at home, fear of being drained
“I am very afraid to leave the phone at home, since all working moments are solved by a call to a mobile phone. I should always be in touch. There was a case when my phone ran out at night due to a faulty charger. He broke down and instead of charging, he discharged the battery to 0%. Accordingly, the alarm clock did not work for me in the morning, and I was late for work! Now I bought myself an alarm clock to no longer be late.
And it is also dependent on social networks, so there is always the fear that the phone is about to be depleted. Leafing through the news, chatting with friends who live in other cities. And usually all the most important events are announced on social networks. All meetings are scheduled through them. I'm afraid to miss important information.And I communicate with the administration through social networks, we send important documents. It is very convenient, and all information is sent very promptly. I can’t imagine myself, my life without a phone and the Internet. ”
What kind of fear: in the modern world, such fear is called nomophobia. Deep fear of being abandoned, fear of growing up, fear of being left without help, not coping with life or new experiences.
Modern technologies have brought with them not only ways of fast communication, obtaining information, but also created a way of life in which a person learns to think independently, to rely on himself and his own resources. In critical situations, a person without a phone feels completely helpless and can not orient in solving the situation. That is, new technologies limit the person in adulthood and creative thinking. It is also a way to avoid “stressful” communication with people, a way to avoid solving real-life problems, and also a way to relieve fatigue.
Root causes:the entry of a culture of using technology, the excessive use of the Internet and social networks, without internal control and understanding of the importance of being in real life.The consequence is the infantilization of society and emotional dependence. Sometimes raising your eyes from the phone and focusing on something in the outside world is stressful.
How to overcome:workout. Gradual weaning from addiction. Increased stress tolerance, that is, the rejection of the phone and going out into the world.
Fear of not having time, late due to the frantic pace of life
“My life rhythm is increasingly not consistent with my capabilities. Combining work and study is not as easy as I thought. Today I am constantly in the deadline, and this brings discomfort, since I can not stand to be late. Last year, the fear of not having time to do something by a certain date became my faithful companion. I work as a translator, and we often receive urgent orders that we have to do very quickly, it happens that in 10 minutes you are required to translate a large and complex text with industry terminology and a bunch of definitions. And besides this, we need to meet foreign guests, delegations, we need to solve a number of organizational issues. We have to work in emergency mode: if only everything is in time.And the fear that I will forget something, miss, or do not have time to do it on time, always in my head. ”
What fear: fear of rejection. It is terrible to be rejected, not fit into the framework and patterns.
Root causes:the scourge of modern society. Age of consumerism, greed. Everyone wants to build a business and make a lot of money, without taking into account the factor that people who help build a business are alive. Attitude towards people is rather consumer - to maximize the use of a resource with minimal energy and time costs.
How to overcome:to form a mature, adult stance. Realize responsibility for your life and your personal choices. Increase self-esteem and self-confidence. Strengthen in individualization, uniqueness, increase internal value.
Fear of making an imperfect shot.
“For the last five years, I have been watching from behind the shoulders of food photographers, portrait painters, landscape photographers, ruferov, outdorschik and many other specialists with a camera at the ready.Naturally, he himself began to shoot, shoot extremely badly, which is why the desire to know all the subtleties of this art has reached incredible dimensions, which is extremely good. ”
What fear: fear of rejection. Fear of not cope with high competition, to be unaccepted, professionally invaluable.
Root causes:The experience gained in the parental family through education and attitudes associated with the acceptance of oneself, one’s personality, the ability to rely on oneself, to adapt to the rapidly changing conditions of life. If the degree of disapproval and criticism was high in relation to the child in childhood, then, as a result, perfectionism, high demands in relation to themselves and to people are formed.
In this story I draw attention, on the contrary, to the high opportunistic skills of the young man, interest and curiosity to life. A healthy desire for self-improvement is always a plus. It may also be related to the culture and fashion of society. The world of advertising, photoshop and template beauty.
How to overcome:increase self-esteem and confidence.To be strengthened in individualization, uniqueness, to increase the intrinsic value, strength and dignity. Change your worldview from the template to the individual. Learn to accept yourself, not excluding taking care of yourself, your health and self-improvement (to an adequate degree). Learn to respect yourself. Allow yourself to carelessness and imperfection. To visit a psychologist, to undergo psychotherapy.
Fear of dressing up bright, fashionable and attracting attention
“Having moved to Chelyabinsk, I began to notice that I increasingly wanted to wrap myself in something gray or black. Black jacket, dark jeans, dark boots.
I didn’t think about it before, but now I catch myself thinking: “Why did I drop my fashionable wine-red trousers or that bright yellow T-shirt? Maybe because the street is usually overcast and gray ?! But no! As soon as I put on those “tear out” pants, I now and then caught on the looks of others, often evaluating. I realized that now I am afraid to attract views. But I remember how at 16 it seemed to me that it was cool when everyone was looking at you ... Now, I often have a choice: to be bright and flaunt or be overlooked and gray, but feel comfortable. Wins the second.I can wear bright and trendy things a couple of times a year. ”
What fear: fear of rejection. Fear of not being accepted, loved by people and society.
Root causes:low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, failure to accept their individuality.
How to overcome:increase self-esteem and confidence. To be strengthened in individualization, uniqueness, to increase the intrinsic value, strength and dignity. Change your worldview from the template to the individual. To visit a psychologist, to undergo psychotherapy.
Fear of dressing up in the morning for the summer is beautiful, and later freezing, falling under the rain
“Such a fear, more precisely, I would say, a fear, came to me because of quite changeable weather and not always a truthful forecast. It often happens to me like this: having gathered for some business, having put on a beautiful dress or summer bow, having left a couple of kilometers from home, to get under a shower - it's all about me. Why this happens - I do not know. Either I didn’t learn how to dress according to the weather, or the weather here is so changeable that you won’t guess. ”
What kind of fear: the fear of growing up.
Root causes:immature life position, lack of experience of independence and reliance on themselves and their experience.
How to overcome:to form a mature, adult stance. Recognize personal responsibility for your life. Learn to rely on yourself and your life experience. Learn to secure yourself. You can visit a psychologist in the direction of "behavioral psychotherapy."
Fear of going out without makeup
“Many girls, including myself, are afraid to go out without makeup. In my case, it began at the age of 15, when my face “captured” a transitional age. Oh, how much I fought. I practically managed to deal with skin problems, but with no fear of going out without cosmetics on the street - no. When I was a student, I had a young man with a specific sense of humor, who joked when I was “natural.” I am no longer a student, but unfortunately, this fear still remains with me. Although sometimes I think that I just really like cosmetics and therefore I just can’t afford to refuse it.I have always been fascinated by girls who are absolutely free to go out without any “paint” on their face. ”
What fear: fear of rejection. Fear that "I" will not be loved by people and society.
Root causes:low self-esteem and rejection of their individuality.
How to overcome:increase self-esteem and confidence. Strengthen in individualization, uniqueness. To raise the level of internal dignity. Change your worldview from the template to the individual. To visit a psychologist, to undergo psychotherapy.
Use of makeup and makeup is normal and natural. It is a way of self-care, self-care and self-esteem. But if the fear of leaving without make-up becomes chronic, then this is a reason to think about improving self-esteem.
Fear of going to the theater, the cinema, walking or traveling alone without company, because they think you're lonely
“I have a very funny fear - this is the fear of walking alone, no matter where - theater, cinema, just walking or traveling.For some reason I think that if they see me alone, they will surely decide that I am alone. This fear appeared in adolescence, when I agreed with my girlfriend to go to the cinema, but almost before the session she said that she could not come. Then I did not attach any special significance to this and decided to go alone, but being, ironically, surrounded by five loving couples in the hall, I tightened my hold on the back of the seat and wanted to run away rather quickly - I had never felt so lonely. It seemed to me that instead of a movie, they all look at me and think: “What a mess, how can you go to the movies alone, poor girl! So sorry for her! ”Now, if I go somewhere, there’s definitely not one - and it’s not important here: mother, girlfriend, young man. The main thing is for someone to be there, otherwise I feel terrible discomfort, and my thoughts return to the situation when it seemed to me that I was the lonely person in the world, and the whole world noticed this. ”
Root causes:in childhood, a person most likely felt very lonely, which is why he is fixed on such fears now.
How to overcome:increase self-esteem, self-confidence, cultivate their feminine dignity, to understand that she herself is valuable, regardless of what people say about her.
Maining - what is it in simple words
Why you should not go to the doctors, as in the supermarket
How to understand the attitude of a guy
New trend of the season: interesting hats, repeating the hairstyle of a popular toy
How to calculate the power of air conditioning
How to really become the most beautiful girl in the world
How to tighten the shape of the face after 40 years - the best masks and homemade recipes
Congratulations to colleagues on March 8